August sixteen twenty thirteen. Let's remember this day because it's ought to be memorable. I get up around eight twenty and just think about my life and some parts of it that are a bit dumb and seriously just unacceptably stupid and now - I am blogging.
I'm blogging these feelings/thoughts because I want this to be a huge slap on my face if ever my feelings shift back again - to being the dumb and stupid and just plain wtf me.
When a relationship is over - it's over. Get over it as soon as possible. I think that's how the game should be played. The one who moves on the faster - is probably the one who wins. But it's not really a game I know. But you get the point. Because you know what, if you're so slow at getting back on your feet and moving on ahead of the other party - all that's gonna be left of you is a sappy piece of shit looking so pathetic and just SERIOUSLY PATHETIC. Okay? So I'm telling you this, and I'm basing it on recent experience.
So you call him up and suddenly - the voice on the other line sounds completely different. But still - you don't put it down. Because you know that that was what you wanted. To hear his voice. And fuck please stop saying that "this is the last" or "last one" WTF - just get done with it! Just go and move on! No more "last" whatevers because face it - you never can tell when it is that you're finally over if you keep saying "last na talaga". Whatevs.
So yeah. You're on the phone. And then what. You say the most stupid thing ever just because that's what's bursting out of your system because that's what you've been feeling for days now. You say "I miss you" and then the asshole of a stranger on the other line says "May Milo kayo jan?" I just froze. I froze and really just realized how much of a piece of shit I was. I realized NOPE. I DON'T miss YOU. I actually just miss what "used to be" and I just really miss the "you" before "we" fucking ended.
Apparently, when the relationship is over - no more fucking three month rule. Move on - ASAP. The three month rule is used to what - give respect to the other party and courtesy to what you guys had. And that doesn't even just entail having someone new - it includes everything. Three months? Fuck that's TOO LONG. You're just gonna feel so sorry for yourself if you're still there - considering what he'll feel for every move you'd make and then he's there - not giving even the slightest damn about you or what you'd feel.
When it's over - it's over.
Stop thinking about what "was", okay? You guys are already over! And whatever it is that's been left behind - LEAVE IT THERE. And I mean EVERYTHING. Okay?
Just stop it and get over it.
And right now, I'm not even bitter. I'm just stating facts. All I actually feel right now is disgust for how I've acted and seriously regret what I did last night (I only regret what I did last night. Just that stupid phone call. But all the rest - I have no regrets.) And towards the other party - I feel nothing. It's seriously - that indifferent feeling already. It's like. Whatever he does with his life - I just don't care anymore. It'll be an "Oh okay." feeling when I hear something about him. If it's interesting or whatever - edi I'll be interested. But really. Really really. I'm just so glad I've got friends who can slap the shit out of me when things get too stupid to handle.
Anyhoo.
This day will be general clean up day for me because friends are coming over and my room is still a mess.
Kbye.
Ciao :) x
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