Let This Be The Last ♥

Let this be the last time I'll address anything to you and for you. I don't even know if this will ever come across you. I don't even know if this would mean anything to you. But let me express myself. And allow me to write this one for you.

This post is influenced by the random thoughts of you today. And how this current mix on 8tracks is making me write all the more.

I hope all is well with you. I want you to know that if ever you are wondering about me too, I'm doing great. I've been really really happy. There've been a lot of days wherein I just couldn't contain my happiness. And right now I don't know why but I feel like crying - and I've got a smile on my face. I'm happy. I really am. And with this happiness I feel - I somewhat hope you are too.

I'd like to strongly believe that I am really over you already. The thoughts of you no longer make me mad or anything. I still wonder at times - what could those mean - but no longer have those feelings of disgust or anything at all. I feel as though I've completely let you go by hoping all the best be with you as well. I still pray for you. I pray that you find whatever it is you're looking for. I pray that if ever you have found whatever that may be - I hope you take care of it so much you wont lose it anymore.

May it be happiness, love, peace, or yourself - I hope you're well. I hope you find it or her or whatever.

I want you to know that I am thankful for everything. Everything I've been through. And everything WE have been through. I am thankful to have met you. I am thankful to have had you in my life. I must admit that you still have been one of those people who really have made me the happiest - for a really long time. I will always be thankful for everything we've been through. May it be good or bad - I'm thankful.

I can't wait that you'd have a good life too. I can't wait to hear in the future that you've finally reached your dreams. All those you've shared with me - I really hope you never lose hope in everything you've once aimed for. I want you to keep dreaming and believing in yourself. I hope that you'd always find inspiration and strength around you. If those are still the dreams you have planted in you, I hope you study really well. I can't wait for you to graduate! And then work really hard as a mechanic and then eventually work your way up and become a captain. Whatever suits you or whatever would make you happy - I hope you'll never give up on yourself or worse - on life. Okay?

I hope you'd really really just be happy. Because I still somewhat feel that things might just be put to waste if you're not happy. Right? So make yourself happy. Make sure you always do the right thing. Things may be hard from time to time - but I want you to be strong. Be wise and don't be stupid. Stop being immature and grow up. Okay? There's a time for everything and not everyone will always understand you. Not everyone will always understand you. And I'd like to believe that for a really long time - I did. Above anyone and everyone else ... I did.

I hope the thought of me makes you thankful too. I hope you dint have any regrets with me either. Because I sure know that everything I've had with you - has it's various reasons.

I hope you fall in love - and I can't wait that you do! :') If you already are - I'm so so so happy for you. :') And I hope that when you find (or have found) her - you'll take really good care of her - much more than you ever took care of me. :) You are capable of loving - and I know you are capable of so much more. I strongly believe that it just takes the right person to make everything else to fall into place. :') And I would honestly be happy for you.

I hope that in your entire journey - you'll find God too. ;) I hope that in everything you go through, you'll have Him in mind. ;) Pray more often, okay? And know that God always has His reasons. You'll just have to be strong enough and have faith in Him. ;)

The things that have been happening to me lately are just so ... surreal and at the same time - incredibly amazing. I always feel so immensely blessed with my family and friends. It's like everyday - I could say that "I could never be happier" :') I think anyone else can feel the same way I do as long as they count their blessings as often as always. ;) But thinking about it - I COULD be happier! And I will be happier - through God as well. :) I know He has lots and lots and lots more in store for me - for us! For everyone♥ It's just - enjoying the present and making the most out of it - always.

And before I wrote this blog, I've been asking myself.

Do I still love you?

And without having to think twice or pause - I'd say yes. I still do. I always have. And I always will. ;) And this is because ... I don't think we ever really stop loving someone. It's just a matter of loving someone else ... more. ♥ :')

You will always be a part of me.

And let me leave you with one of my most favorite lines from Joshua Harris' book.

"True love isn't expressed in passionately whispered words, an intimate kiss or an embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid."

Thank you x goodbye.