Sundays

First off, let's hope I don't cry as I write this post.

Second, I shall now begin.

Me and my sister? We're really tight. Super duper mega uber tight. We're practically like best friends. I get to tell her anything and everything. We sleep in one room and in one bed. All of us, we used to have our own beds. But me, since I was a kid, I grew up sleeping beside my parents. When I grew up and had to sadly move out of their room and into mine - I slept there for a really short time. We had two double-decks. One for my brothers and the other for me and my sister. Of course, she was older than me which meant she gets to sleep on the top bunk. Eventually, I slept beside her.

As time passed, my bunk got removed then hers was brought down then we had a sliding bed. That too dint work for me. I still slept beside her.

Then, we had our own room. It got painted pink and all. It even has stars on it's walls. Glow in the dark spray paint ; ) Then - a bigger bed. Queen size. \m/

..

Now .. I sleep alone. No one to argue with on who sleeps on which side.. No one to hug tight around 2am or 3 just because I suddenly got sad and still can't sleep.. No one to tell my silly thoughts to and find those funny rather than my jokes that never seemed to be funny for her.. No one to laugh at when she talks in her sleep.. No one to wake up to in the morning and see her hair wet and all dressed up rushing coz she's already late for school (she's a preschool teacher).. No one to wait for at night coz she's still out with her boyfriend.. And so much more ..

She's married now .. and I am extremely happy for her.

We argue. A lot. As in. We even shout at each other for God's sake. But it's vary rare that a day ends that we aren't in good terms. We just suddenly talk like nothing happened. Or the usual, I'm the one who says sorry and all those shit.

She's just blocks away, actually. And I badly want to run there for a hug goodnight at least. But no. I should grow up. I should learn to stand on my own. I can do this. I still have my mom. And my dad. Yeah and my brothers. But she was the one I was always with - if not my parents. It's just .. I dunno.

..

Tonight was somehow .. a bit .. of a disaster. I badly wanted to see her and get to talk to her. Things have been rough at home - just tonight though. Then while we were having dinner, my kuya looked for my sister. He asked if she's not coming home anymore. Then my mom said yes, she won't be coming home anymore and stuff. Then she also said that my sister said that she'll be home on Sundays. I finished my food right away then ran upstairs coz I couldn't hold my tears anymore. Then .. I call her right up. Blabbed shit then kept on crying. I looked like a freakin' kid who was got left behind or something. LOL.

I dint know why but I suddenly wished for everyday to be a Sunday. I even hate hearing mass (reasons will be stated some other time though I aint an atheist or anything like that) .. but I'd hear mass everyday if I'd get to be with her.

Oh well papel. Life must go on. I'll get used to this soon. ; )

If Sunday was the only day I could see you .. I hope and pray that God would make it Sunday everyday.