Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

I perfectly remember the day when I found out that my first love still hasn't ended things between him and the girl who practically ruined what we had. (now things are all good and we're really good friends coz that's not what I'm about to talk about. not my first love, no.) I was sitting with a huge bunch of other high school students. And I had to stay put coz my best friend's band was about to play on stage. She was the lead guitarist. Then they played the song Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now. I've always loved that song. And who would've thought that on that day, on that moment, when I was torn and broken and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep - their band's drummer was the one who'd make my heart beat again. lol

And that's looking back at how things were and how things have always seemed to be connected. Well, in my case, I often think that things always have their way on actually being - connected.

That was in first year high school. And though the drummer and I knew each other and used to be classmates in grade six - we only got to be really close friends in third year high school.

I love how the line in the song would say "And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other, nothing's gonna stop us - nothing's gonna stop us now"

Me and my ex's world used to be really small. Everytime my best friend's band were to have their band practice in the subdivision where I live, I would drop by on my way home and listen to one song. During those days - he was totally nothing to me. But I've often had the hots for drummers. But eh~ point is, he was just this band member I'd often just see playing the drums with my best friend. LOL.

So, my sister's wedding's on January 3 which is .. 6 days from today - and right now, well .. just this morning, she and her boyfriend got into a fight. I was having breakfast then (late breakfast. quite like brunch) and they went out to talk. I could hear my sister's voice and she sounded like she was holding back tears. It wasn't a big fight though. But I could tell she was really just getting stressed out with all the arrangements for their wedding. Anyways, she went inside and ran upstairs. And I thought - will he leave without them being okay? Then comes in again how me and my ex used to be.

No matter how late at night it was that we fought at home, he wouldn't leave unless the two of us were okay. He'd always tell me that he'd rather be home late than be home early without the two of us parting .. fine. And as time passed, it just broke my heart everytime he's learned to leave already without us being okay. My fault I think.

This morning too, I woke up hearing my brother talking to his girlfriend on the phone. Yes, they were fighting too.

And while eating cake for my breakfast desert, I thought .. these are the times when you'll see that being single is okay.

When you're single, you wont get into a fight with someone you love the most. But uhh - wait. Fighting's fine. It's healthy to have misunderstandings. Just not that often I guess. But that's the only downside I see when you're in a relationship. I dunno.

Anyways, I'm fine right now. And with the ex - though I still talk about him, when I think about him .. I totally feel nothing. So I do hope you understand me, reader. Heh heh. I just talk about him coz he's the only guy I've got memories with like those. And, my heart no longer skips beats or anything when he's in my mind. He's just - a memory. You know? Like .. I talk about him and all I talk about is how things WERE and not how things ARE. Get me, get me? And now .. who he is - I got no idea who he is. How he's doing - no idea. I sometimes wonder if he's happy. Like, genuinely happy out there. I sometimes wonder if he's happy with his love life as well - I hope he is ;) Non-sarcastic comment okay. :) Meh~ I still get paranoid at times - thinking someone's stalking me. *krukru* hahahaha.

I was able to survive 2010 being single. And I don't doubt I'm gonna do great in 2011 as well. :) But in 2010 - I liked a lotta guys - like - I had these random crushes, conversations and stuff and got all ~*kiligz*~ with some of em.. But you see - none of those were genuine. And when I say genuine - it's something that when the conversation's over, when being with the person's over - you get to smile about it and still have that same reaction in your tummy and all those happy feeling when you like someone. NONE. But there's this one dude ~ nevermind.

Sooooo~ I've been writing down things I'm going to do in 2011. A 365 thing. One thing a day. Shall post it when I'm done with it. I'm on 80 something.

And here's my proposition. Year 2011 - I shall stop searching for love and stop missing how being with someone used to feel like. :) Besides. Love happens when we least expect it. ;) I shall focus more on my studies, myself, my friends and my family. :) And how could I ever be loveless when I will always and forever be loved by my friends and family? And ofcourse, by God? ;) HEE :)

2011 - be awesome :* :)