SINONG MALAS

Sarah falls into a manhole.

 

 

BAT KASI

Sarah wakes up wondering about her very, very weird dream.

kjoetineriomkasnovrel

CRYBABY

Sarah watches a movie that makes her tear up like a baby.

EH ANO DAW

Sarah gains weight.

FALAFEL

I've been blogging since I can't remember when. All I know is that .. when I started .. those were the days that I was in a relationship.

Ah see. I do remember. LOL.

I started blogging in Multiply. Then moved to DeviantArt. Then Tumblr. Then Blogspot. Then both. I uhh. I dunno. Since then, I think my most used word or topic in my entries was love.

It's funny how time flies and how .. things and people change through time. I seriously think that next to God, time's the most powerful thing. Oh wait. Maybe God, then love, then time. Oh what the heck. Whichever. Point is - it's almost two years since I've been in a relationship. And I must admit that I DO miss the feeling of being in one.

I've been watching How I Met Your Mother for the past .. seven hours or eight and I'm pretty sure I'm sort of confused with what I want right now. But just like what our professor has said, it's okay to not know what you want as long as you know what you don't want. And right now, I know I don't want to grow up alone or rather yet, single.

I'm not in a rush to get into a relationship. Because I don't see the point of being in one if you're not even sure that that's the relationship you wanna be in in ten years or more from today. Don't you guys think it's a waste of time? Sure, I want to have a boyfriend. But I don't want to have one who isn't even sure if he doesn't want to have me as his wife. *what D: k. read on.*

Just last week, the priest mentioned in his homily the uhh .. "Begin with the end in mind" by Stephen Covey. LOL. And I honestly think that that's how people SHOULD actually be whenever they get into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I mean, why be someone's girlfriend or someone's boyfriend today or tomorrow or for two years if he or she aint the one you could picture the rest of your life with? I really think it's pointless.

Well SORRY if I'm taking this too seriously - but that's just how I am. If you wanna have fun, go - have fun. But you see, being in a commitment involves loving one another and - love goes a long way. I don't know for you guys, but for me - it does. You could date people and see them regularly or not if commitment scares you - but another thing is --- okay. You know what. I've blogged about this for like a thousand times already and I'm starting to talk in general already so I'm gonna talk about my feelings. *boohoo. sounds like a girl*

WELL, I uhh. I wonder if there are those who are .. meant to be single for the rest of their lives. It scares me. To wake up one morning and see myself .. I dunno. Alone? LOL. Not now or tomorrow .. in like ten years or so - it's scary. Really. No matter how hard I try to think that it may not be as scary as it seems - it is D: HAHAHAHAHA.


OKAY. I was supposed to really just blog about how I felt and how I missed being with someone.


It sort of sucks that there's just one guy I've ever dated. Sucks that there's just one guy I've been in a relationship with. Sucks that I've only got one guy I ever really held hands with. Sucks that I only had one guy who I've ever kissed. Sucks that I've only had one guy I swore I wanted to marry someday. Sucks that I got engaged at a really young age and to this day, I wonder if he took it seriously as well coz I'd admit that it would hurt a lot if he'd tell me it wasn't.


All of these suck not because I'm still not over him *which I am and I don't want to start sounding defensive* - all of these suck because .. I still at times wonder how life would've been if I dint meet him. Because believe me, I swear he's my dream guy - he was my dream guy. He was beyond what or who I ever expected God to grant me with. And not that we're no longer together .. I know that God has His reasons .. but I really wonder what His reason behind this whole shit is? D: I wonder .. why give me someone beyond perfect? *OP. Wag maflatter. Dati yun* I mean .. what'll I do now? Of course - what do you want me to do, God - lower down my expectations from You? It's not that I have high expectations *which I doubt that I do* - it's just .. is the next guy not gonna be what I ever expected? Would he be a total jerk/asshole/moron/stupid guy? Would he stink? Or or .. would he have far more awful grammar? *LOLOLOL. Not that the ex had bad grammar (HEHE.JK)* Would he .. have crooked teeth? Or .. I dunno.


Looks barely mattered to me. As long as the dude could me me literally LOL, he's got about zero point zero zero zero one percent of my heart already. HAHAHAHAHAHA. JK.


Okay. Hmm. Anyways. I'm sort of bored right now and this is one of my unfinished blogs dated 11162010 - yes. It's either I fell asleep or had to go out or something. I forgot. HAHA. Anyways. Maybe blog about love next time. This dint quite have a clear ending to it so - yeah :))


Have fun reading earthlings :* :))

FICKLE MINDED - nope. Not really.

This might surprise a few people but uhh .. here it is.

I no longer want to be a wedding planner.

This is simply because - I don't see the point of being a wedding planner if I myself don't plan on getting a wedding planner for my own wedding? Not because I'm gonna be a wedding planner myself - but because I would want to encourage other couples to be the ones who'd plan their own weddings. I mean, I know that being a wedding planner doesn't mean that you actually PLAN the wedding. You just help the couple out and be the one who'd rather be stressed out about the preparation and all. That's what being a wedding planner's all about. You handle the guests, the invitations, arrange the place for the reception, where to order flowers from, what gown - where it'd be best to get one for who and shit. And don't get me wrong. Weddings - the thought of em gets me all psyched up. But yesterday, I've been thinking about it and I ended up with "Why would I want to be a wedding planner? When I myself would discourage others from getting one because ... wouldn't your wedding be far more special if you and your husband or wife to be is the one you get to visit different churches, call up the people and ask if they're free, choose which flowers would look best, what motif the wedding would have and alllllll those stuff?" I just think .. it'd be great if it'd be the two of you getting all tired at the end of the week but you know the both of you had a great time because .. you planned this huge event together? I dunno. I just think it'd be far more fulfilling once the wedding's over. Diba?

I've got this notebook. Which has a list of possible proposals or surprises for a loved one. It's funny how even the budget is included. It's not really the wedding I want to plan I guess. Hmm .. I think what I really want to plan is .. how their whole being together before getting married is gonna be like. *waitanglabonun* Like for example .. I wanna help out in UNIQUE ideas on how to prepare for a date - what to do on a date, where to go or or when it's his/her birthday, what'll you get her, what can you do for a surprise - does it involve a lot of people or you'd prefer that it's just you two who'd celebrate it together? Or or, it could be something random - you just feel like being sweet at the moment. Diba? Grabe.

I'm like .. one of the cheesiest earthlings in the universe. Even the simplest things make me go "AWWWWW :')" And oftentimes, when I tear up for as simple as a uh .... commercial! Or a .. portion of an episode - damn I wonder why I tear up! D: 

Okay back to not being a wedding planner anymore.

I got to talk to my mom yesterday. I told her about why be a wedding planner if yun nga - I'd want people to work on their own weddings - soooo, ayun.

My mom explained to me why people get wedding planners. It's so they wouldn't get stressed out in planning the wedding kasi they have other things to do and I'm like .. "WHAT COULD BE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN WEDDING?" So yeah. I've decided aaand, my decision's final. LOL.

Grabe. I'm so fickle minded. Well not really. HAHA.

First thing I was sure about being wasssss - an Interior Designer. I wanted the idea of arranging things in a house. Being the one to plan out how the inside of your house is going to be like. Then after 2 years or so .. I was so decided in traveling the world - ding ding ding - second thing *person. HA? LOLOLOL* I was sure of being someday was aaaaaa - Flight Attendant. Yes sir. My mom even told me she'd have my eyes operated on or something. I even badly wanted to learn how to swim. Apparently. When I got into a relationship, and there were times we had to be miles apart because he had to be there during summer and stuff. And then .. I thought .. ngayon palang na we just have to be apart for 2months or so drives me crazy .. pano na when we get married etc etc - I knew I didn't want that kind of relationship. I knew that I COULD handle long distance relationships - but if I had a choice, of course I'd choose to be near him ;) Anyways - so there. Plans of being a flight attendant have changed. And I'm pretty sure that even now that I'm single, I would no longer want to have that as a job. I know it pays big bucks. But hey. It'd always be different if you're near your loved ones ;) And laaast or rather latest dream that I've decided not to pursue anymore was - being a wedding planner ;) Reason has been stated already :)

In all those or rather these years wherein .. I've had different dreams and plans for my future, being an artist, being able to put up my own gallery someday, have an exhibit every week or every month or so - has never changed ;) In all those plans of being an ID, FA and WP - being an internationally known artist has always been there. ID, FA or WP - I never planned to have any of those as my work for my entire life. I just wanted them to be my job while I'm earning money as I pursue my career of being an artist. I'd need money for art materials and of course, enough cash to promote my work. Like really, put up my own studio and stuff.

Hmm. If you guys are wondering why not be in a course that's related to arts and stuff - 

Kasi, arts - it's my passion. I'm driven and inspired to be good at it - on my own. I don't want to draw because I HAVE TO - for a grade. I want to draw and paint and create other artsy fartsies simply because I LOVE doing such. And I thought, yes I know if I took up a course that majored in art I'd have my skills enhanced .. but I really want art to be out of the list of things TO DO. Do you guys get me? Because .. I dunno. Maybe this one's a bit complicated to explain. But if you get me, YAY ME :D HEE.

Anyways. :) There.

PULUBI

Pulubi used to be my favorite expression. But since daddy would always call my attention because he said it didn't sound nice and I sounded sort of mean and all - turns out, I stopped using it eventually.


You see, maybe it's true that - well, not maybe. We do need our parents. LOL. See, it was something good that I stopped using such a term not appropriate to actually be used as a term because it sounds degrading and all and it makes less fortunate people sound as though being less fortunate was something not good or whatever.


Anyways. I've got tons of thoughts in my drafts already. And right now, it's 7:32am and I should be GOING but actually, I'm just about to take a shower because the one who was taking a shower a while ago is now done. SO, bye for now :)


*whatonearth*


PS, How I Met Your Mother is officially my new stress reliever. WUHOO *cheers* :)