FICKLE MINDED - nope. Not really.

This might surprise a few people but uhh .. here it is.

I no longer want to be a wedding planner.

This is simply because - I don't see the point of being a wedding planner if I myself don't plan on getting a wedding planner for my own wedding? Not because I'm gonna be a wedding planner myself - but because I would want to encourage other couples to be the ones who'd plan their own weddings. I mean, I know that being a wedding planner doesn't mean that you actually PLAN the wedding. You just help the couple out and be the one who'd rather be stressed out about the preparation and all. That's what being a wedding planner's all about. You handle the guests, the invitations, arrange the place for the reception, where to order flowers from, what gown - where it'd be best to get one for who and shit. And don't get me wrong. Weddings - the thought of em gets me all psyched up. But yesterday, I've been thinking about it and I ended up with "Why would I want to be a wedding planner? When I myself would discourage others from getting one because ... wouldn't your wedding be far more special if you and your husband or wife to be is the one you get to visit different churches, call up the people and ask if they're free, choose which flowers would look best, what motif the wedding would have and alllllll those stuff?" I just think .. it'd be great if it'd be the two of you getting all tired at the end of the week but you know the both of you had a great time because .. you planned this huge event together? I dunno. I just think it'd be far more fulfilling once the wedding's over. Diba?

I've got this notebook. Which has a list of possible proposals or surprises for a loved one. It's funny how even the budget is included. It's not really the wedding I want to plan I guess. Hmm .. I think what I really want to plan is .. how their whole being together before getting married is gonna be like. *waitanglabonun* Like for example .. I wanna help out in UNIQUE ideas on how to prepare for a date - what to do on a date, where to go or or when it's his/her birthday, what'll you get her, what can you do for a surprise - does it involve a lot of people or you'd prefer that it's just you two who'd celebrate it together? Or or, it could be something random - you just feel like being sweet at the moment. Diba? Grabe.

I'm like .. one of the cheesiest earthlings in the universe. Even the simplest things make me go "AWWWWW :')" And oftentimes, when I tear up for as simple as a uh .... commercial! Or a .. portion of an episode - damn I wonder why I tear up! D: 

Okay back to not being a wedding planner anymore.

I got to talk to my mom yesterday. I told her about why be a wedding planner if yun nga - I'd want people to work on their own weddings - soooo, ayun.

My mom explained to me why people get wedding planners. It's so they wouldn't get stressed out in planning the wedding kasi they have other things to do and I'm like .. "WHAT COULD BE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN WEDDING?" So yeah. I've decided aaand, my decision's final. LOL.

Grabe. I'm so fickle minded. Well not really. HAHA.

First thing I was sure about being wasssss - an Interior Designer. I wanted the idea of arranging things in a house. Being the one to plan out how the inside of your house is going to be like. Then after 2 years or so .. I was so decided in traveling the world - ding ding ding - second thing *person. HA? LOLOLOL* I was sure of being someday was aaaaaa - Flight Attendant. Yes sir. My mom even told me she'd have my eyes operated on or something. I even badly wanted to learn how to swim. Apparently. When I got into a relationship, and there were times we had to be miles apart because he had to be there during summer and stuff. And then .. I thought .. ngayon palang na we just have to be apart for 2months or so drives me crazy .. pano na when we get married etc etc - I knew I didn't want that kind of relationship. I knew that I COULD handle long distance relationships - but if I had a choice, of course I'd choose to be near him ;) Anyways - so there. Plans of being a flight attendant have changed. And I'm pretty sure that even now that I'm single, I would no longer want to have that as a job. I know it pays big bucks. But hey. It'd always be different if you're near your loved ones ;) And laaast or rather latest dream that I've decided not to pursue anymore was - being a wedding planner ;) Reason has been stated already :)

In all those or rather these years wherein .. I've had different dreams and plans for my future, being an artist, being able to put up my own gallery someday, have an exhibit every week or every month or so - has never changed ;) In all those plans of being an ID, FA and WP - being an internationally known artist has always been there. ID, FA or WP - I never planned to have any of those as my work for my entire life. I just wanted them to be my job while I'm earning money as I pursue my career of being an artist. I'd need money for art materials and of course, enough cash to promote my work. Like really, put up my own studio and stuff.

Hmm. If you guys are wondering why not be in a course that's related to arts and stuff - 

Kasi, arts - it's my passion. I'm driven and inspired to be good at it - on my own. I don't want to draw because I HAVE TO - for a grade. I want to draw and paint and create other artsy fartsies simply because I LOVE doing such. And I thought, yes I know if I took up a course that majored in art I'd have my skills enhanced .. but I really want art to be out of the list of things TO DO. Do you guys get me? Because .. I dunno. Maybe this one's a bit complicated to explain. But if you get me, YAY ME :D HEE.

Anyways. :) There.