FALAFEL

I've been blogging since I can't remember when. All I know is that .. when I started .. those were the days that I was in a relationship.

Ah see. I do remember. LOL.

I started blogging in Multiply. Then moved to DeviantArt. Then Tumblr. Then Blogspot. Then both. I uhh. I dunno. Since then, I think my most used word or topic in my entries was love.

It's funny how time flies and how .. things and people change through time. I seriously think that next to God, time's the most powerful thing. Oh wait. Maybe God, then love, then time. Oh what the heck. Whichever. Point is - it's almost two years since I've been in a relationship. And I must admit that I DO miss the feeling of being in one.

I've been watching How I Met Your Mother for the past .. seven hours or eight and I'm pretty sure I'm sort of confused with what I want right now. But just like what our professor has said, it's okay to not know what you want as long as you know what you don't want. And right now, I know I don't want to grow up alone or rather yet, single.

I'm not in a rush to get into a relationship. Because I don't see the point of being in one if you're not even sure that that's the relationship you wanna be in in ten years or more from today. Don't you guys think it's a waste of time? Sure, I want to have a boyfriend. But I don't want to have one who isn't even sure if he doesn't want to have me as his wife. *what D: k. read on.*

Just last week, the priest mentioned in his homily the uhh .. "Begin with the end in mind" by Stephen Covey. LOL. And I honestly think that that's how people SHOULD actually be whenever they get into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I mean, why be someone's girlfriend or someone's boyfriend today or tomorrow or for two years if he or she aint the one you could picture the rest of your life with? I really think it's pointless.

Well SORRY if I'm taking this too seriously - but that's just how I am. If you wanna have fun, go - have fun. But you see, being in a commitment involves loving one another and - love goes a long way. I don't know for you guys, but for me - it does. You could date people and see them regularly or not if commitment scares you - but another thing is --- okay. You know what. I've blogged about this for like a thousand times already and I'm starting to talk in general already so I'm gonna talk about my feelings. *boohoo. sounds like a girl*

WELL, I uhh. I wonder if there are those who are .. meant to be single for the rest of their lives. It scares me. To wake up one morning and see myself .. I dunno. Alone? LOL. Not now or tomorrow .. in like ten years or so - it's scary. Really. No matter how hard I try to think that it may not be as scary as it seems - it is D: HAHAHAHAHA.


OKAY. I was supposed to really just blog about how I felt and how I missed being with someone.


It sort of sucks that there's just one guy I've ever dated. Sucks that there's just one guy I've been in a relationship with. Sucks that I've only got one guy I ever really held hands with. Sucks that I only had one guy who I've ever kissed. Sucks that I've only had one guy I swore I wanted to marry someday. Sucks that I got engaged at a really young age and to this day, I wonder if he took it seriously as well coz I'd admit that it would hurt a lot if he'd tell me it wasn't.


All of these suck not because I'm still not over him *which I am and I don't want to start sounding defensive* - all of these suck because .. I still at times wonder how life would've been if I dint meet him. Because believe me, I swear he's my dream guy - he was my dream guy. He was beyond what or who I ever expected God to grant me with. And not that we're no longer together .. I know that God has His reasons .. but I really wonder what His reason behind this whole shit is? D: I wonder .. why give me someone beyond perfect? *OP. Wag maflatter. Dati yun* I mean .. what'll I do now? Of course - what do you want me to do, God - lower down my expectations from You? It's not that I have high expectations *which I doubt that I do* - it's just .. is the next guy not gonna be what I ever expected? Would he be a total jerk/asshole/moron/stupid guy? Would he stink? Or or .. would he have far more awful grammar? *LOLOLOL. Not that the ex had bad grammar (HEHE.JK)* Would he .. have crooked teeth? Or .. I dunno.


Looks barely mattered to me. As long as the dude could me me literally LOL, he's got about zero point zero zero zero one percent of my heart already. HAHAHAHAHAHA. JK.


Okay. Hmm. Anyways. I'm sort of bored right now and this is one of my unfinished blogs dated 11162010 - yes. It's either I fell asleep or had to go out or something. I forgot. HAHA. Anyways. Maybe blog about love next time. This dint quite have a clear ending to it so - yeah :))


Have fun reading earthlings :* :))